吃苦 (Chī Kǔ). The Need to Suffer
A disengaged friend was busy stomping on his laptop over dinner. We haven’t caught up in a while and I was getting annoyed.
I asked: “Why do you let your manager push you so hard?”
He frowned, not looking up, “So they know I can 吃苦.”
吃苦 (Chī Kǔ)
“Eating Bitter”, is to endure both mental and physical hardships. A belief that excellence requires suffering.
Suffering is an admirable trait. In work, put up with the company’s high demands and you’re a good employee. In life, put up with what it throws at you and you'll succeed. This is a mindset seen in traditional Asian cultures. But what are its roots and how did it perpetuate modern society? Is being able to suffer a high indicator of success?
This hit home recently because of a recent Facebook post that has gone viral. An owner of a local company derided Singapore job candidates. Labelling them entitled, “not hungry for jobs,” and unable to “吃苦.”
The scenario was: “Applicant E, asked for 21 days of leave instead of 14 days. As this was what his previous company gave him. When denied his request, the applicant reconsidered the offer.”
As a friend and I discussed this topic on our podcast, we saw a division on how we thought about work.
While I thought it was fair for the applicant to ask for more, my friend countered. Claiming that it was too much for the applicant to ask for more than offered.
This was the exchange that struck me the most:
Friend A: “You have limited questions in an interview to show your worth. Why waste a question asking for more days off?”
Me: “His time is important to him, what else is he going to ask?”
There was friction in our views on work-life balance. I saw the need to take control of one’s own time. While he seemed ok with trading time for money. Be compensated by someone for your time or reward yourself for time well spent.
Employer Entitlement
Being compensated by someone opens yourself up to the employer and employee relationship. You’re receding control over your own time. This causes an imbalance of power, that your time belong’s to someone else. It can perpetuate a toxic work culture. One where employers have power over their employees. That working extra hours without proper compensation is part of “吃苦”. Used against the employee.
It also allows the hiring process to be one-sided. Candidates are to be grateful for the opportunity to interview. To only ask questions that show your value to the company. To negotiate only after showing your worth.
What about the candidate's side? The hiring process shouldn't be one-sided. Candidates have to test their potential employers as well. Were the candidates supposed to “吃苦” and get stepped on?
Applicants should ask about their benefits and compensation. Taking it as an entitlement or lack of hunger is absurd. The process is a negotiation. A negotiation towards a mutual agreement.
Every job seeker would love to be equal at the negotiating table. There’s a point where “吃苦” has to stop. But the sad truth is, being able to negotiate for your benefits is a privilege. Without support from family, holding out for the 'right' job would be impossible. The realities of rent and expenses would gobble anyone up like the Sandworm from Dune.
How To Overcome the “吃苦” Mentality?
Think Like A CEO
There’s a need to identify the problems before we can solve them. Here are several scenarios that have played out for me.
Not asking for benefits/ compensation.
Unwilling to try a side hustle.
1. Not asking for more benefits/ compensation.
When both looking for a job and in a job, I have often felt that I shouldn't ask for more. That the employer will pay me what I deserve if I “吃苦”.
That's false.
Once I thought that my employer had my back and would pay me what we agreed. But that didn't happen.
After I found a new job, I asked for 20% more than I thought I deserved. And I got it.
The lesson here is that no matter what, you will “吃苦.” But seek compensation that reflects your worth. If you don't ask for it, you won't receive it.
2. Unwilling to try a side hustle.
There is a negative stigma to having a side hustle. It means that you can't get a job that is high paying enough.
That's false.
This is when you “吃苦,” See your side hustle as a way to practice skills that you have interest in. Build it up, charge for it. Treat it like your own business. Grow it till your side hustle becomes your main one. It will also be a safety net to fall back on. I am still doing this, but there are plenty of successful examples out there to emulate.
Conclusion
The idea of “吃苦,” and having to suffer for your success isn’t wrong. Grit, patience and sacrifice built the storied steps to success. But in the power dynamic between employers and employee, it’s often taken advantaged of. Having experienced being both an employer and employee, everyone wants success. The important thing is to find a balance between suffering and succeeding.
Success is not a zero sum game. If you feel stuck having to“吃苦,” acknowledge there is power in taking agency. A work-life balance will benefit both parties. Employers will see happier, well-rested and more productive employees.